Living in Denial ~ Part 2

ground view into trees

We find ourselves in denial at various seasons of life. And whether the issue we’re battling is one we’ve brought on ourselves or one in which we had absolutely no control, denial is  common to both.

Broken relationships. Trouble with the law. Abuse. Failing grades. Serious illness. Job loss. Death of a loved one. Financial hardship. Addiction. Rebellion.  And that’s only the top of the pile.

This is what mine currently looks like —

I muster the courage to step onto the scales only after struggling – and losing the battle-  to comfortably fit into my “big” jeans. The scales confirm it.  Denial has not been my friend.

I’ve admitted to others, and even to myself occasionally, that staying on track with this whole exercise, healthy eating kind-of-lifestyle is not working too well for me.

I don’t deny there is a problem. The difficulty for me is owning up to that problem. To admit it is truly mine, and my choices have landed me in this predicament.  To admit those choices are in reality, tiny little denials stacked up, one on top of the other, finally resulting in large, ugly consequences (such as a closet full of clothes that no longer fit).

Small choices such as skipping a workout here or there, eating that small piece of chocolate cake, or drinking that delicious five hundred plus calorie frappe (yes, you read that right; I was shocked too), all the while ignoring the reality that these isolated events may cost me more than I care to believe. 

The hard truth for me is this:  one or two missed workouts will likely lead to several; one small piece of cake often makes me crave more; and those frappes – let’s just say they can be quite addictive for a coffee-loving girl on a hot summer day. 

So for me to know these truths about myself and to disregard them, choosing to indulge anyway, is extremely risky.  Such behavior usually pushes me down a slippery slope straight into the hands of defeat.

When tough issues are swirling around, denial appears to be the simplest way out. But denial is a master of disguise.  It prolongs the battle.  To win this fight, to finish well, to find victory, sooner or later I must consciously commit to stand up against denial.

I must look this bully in the eye and declare, “Enough!”  I must courageously call my issues what they are … deep-rooted struggles needing excavation. I must be willing to hear the truth –  and allow it to soak into my very being.

This is where I begin to win again.

But I’ll need a little help (perhaps a lot of help) along the way. And despite my stubbornness and blindness to the truth at times, I know exactly where to look …

Care to join me, my friend?

 

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