I’ve been mostly silent these past few months. Pulling back, withdrawing, keeping to myself more than usual. That’s what I do when life gets hard, and right now, life is hard.
My grandson, Elijah, has been in the hospital nearly three months. This precious blonde headed, blue-eyed, energetic two year old boy needs a new heart, and he can’t come home until he gets one. The wait is hard – not just because waiting in general is hard, but because each new day brings with it the risk of something going wrong. It has been a roller coaster of a ride, to say the least.
Though my faith is strong, my words have been few. I’ve struggled with processing my thoughts, my emotions, my pain. I’ve done what so many of us do in seasons such as this … I’ve lunged into each new day, doing what must be done, carrying on as best I can, keeping my body busy, my mind occupied.
A quick glance at my facebook newsfeed, church prayer list, or local news app confirms I am not alone. Many others are living with adversity, brokenness, and heartache. Everyone facing their own tough battles. None of us exempt.
Wounded, hurting people trying desperately to navigate the difficult paths of this life. Earnestly attempting to meet the needs of our families. Loving them deeply, serving them well, supporting them daily. Appearing strong, all the while trying not to come undone.
One foot in front of the other.
Holding down fear, shaking off its grip. Stepping into the unknown. Praying for strength to endure. Hoping what lies ahead brings joy rather than sorrow.
How do we make it through?
I’ve learned the best way to handle hardship is to cling tightly to the words of scripture. Searching verse after verse, seeking guidance, comfort, and peace. Yet sometimes in my discouragement, I struggle. I find myself sitting blankly, open bible in hand, unable to read, unable to pray, unable to reach out.
But praise God, even when I feel helpless, I am not without hope.
It is there in that state of helplessness, I realize my greatest need for God. It is also there that I begin to understand the importance of community … others walking with me on this journey.
Those dear friends who patiently remind me God is always with me, loving me through every single tear I cry. Those who encourage me with scripture at just the right time. Those who pray for me when I have no words of my own. Those who faithfully lift up my family, carrying our hurting hearts to Jesus, petitioning God for Elijah’s miracle.
I’m so thankful God placed these prayer warriors in my life. Their presence reminds me of His presence, and His presence reminds me of His great love for us all.
Because of this truth, I am able to once again dive into His Word, searching out scripture for myself. I am able to sit at His feet, casting all my cares upon Him, knowing without a doubt —
He cares for me. Just as He cares for you.
Even when life is hard.